Life Recently is a series of posts, which I will discuss certain topics that’s been haunting the back of my mind for awhile, or obstacles that I have been faced with, decisions that I have to make in regards to certain individuals or what have you.
As this semester is coming to a close (the very last day for this semester is on May 18th), I have had time to reflect on whether or not to actually drop both my music (history of Jazz and blues) class and also my math class. I’ve been debating as well as tormenting myself as to whether or not I should drop these classes. The only reason why I’d ever drop the music class is simply due to the fact that not a single thing I have turned has been graded, and of course, a few things have been graded over the Spring Break, which has actually bumped my grade from a high C to an extremely low B. Then there’s math. I have taken two math exams thus far and only passed one, but only by a few points; otherwise, it’d most likely be a D on that test as well as the second test. These decisions are extremely hard for me to make.
Sometime last month, I had to visit my primary care doctor to get prescription refills for certain medications, and while I was there, my doctor was asking how my medications were working on me (in other words, this visit was more of a follow up visit and wanted to know how I am coping with the medications and life in general). My doctor and I were discussing certain aspects of college, and it turns out that he and I both don’t have a strong suit in math. When I heard this, I was really shocked. Upon discussing this, he actually was pretty happy with my follow up, and actually told me to not quit and keep trying with math and that I will eventually understand that. With that, I made a vow to try my best.
Earlier this morning, I emailed my math professor to let him know that my boyfriend and I were having transportation issues, which is why I have been absent (my math professor is one of the very professors that actually doesn’t care if you show up to class or not, just as long as you do the work and show up to take the tests and final). Within the email, I’ve asked him if he knew what sections that would be on the 3rd exam so that I can get a jump start with studying the material as I’d really like to try and pass this test and also the final. I also asked him for his advice as to whether or not if I should drop the class or remain in the class and try? I’ve told him my reasons for asking his advice and he’s encouraged me to stay in the class. We’ll see after the 17th what my faith holds in store for me. I have a math review on the 12th, which of course, this time I will be going to see what will actually be covered on the test and not go in blind unlike I have so many times before, by doing this I will have the entire weekend to study for my test on Tuesday the 17th. If for whatever reason I actually ending up failing this third math test, I will drop the class that day and try again either in the summer, which of course is a more fast paced environment and try it online, or actually take the summer off to study the material and try again in the fall.
Whatever happens, I know that I will do my best to actually pass this stupid math class. It’s the only class that’s holding me back from actually graduating. The music class, I haven’t a problem in passing, it’s just again the math class is the only obstacle that I’m having extreme difficulties with. It’s not because I’m stupid and don’t understand the material, it’s because I have math test taking anxiety. It just seems as if all the studying I have done prior to taking the test, it just gets erased and I panic when I forget how to set up an equation and boom, I fail the test. I’m hoping that this time around this won’t happen and I actually do well on the third test that will make me stay in the class and pass this time.
If by some miracle I am able to pass this third math test, I will be one step closer to graduating with an actual associates degree in web development. Honest to God, if that happens, I will be the only person (that I know of) in my family to have gone all the way in college and actually graduated college even if it’s just a community college. I don’t really know for sure if anyone on my dad’s side of the family has gone to college and graduated with a degree, all I know is that my mother went and just received a certificate. And of course, I’ll be the first of three sisters that have actually went to college and graduated while the other two have went a few semesters to a year’s worth and dropped out. I’m almost there, and I can feel that maybe this time around, I might make it. I have such a great support group whether it be previous professors from my previous classes, friends offline, friends online, and family. They’re all supporting me and telling me that they admire my spirit and motivation to keep going when I can easily just give up. If I didn’t have their support, I’d most likely would have given up by now, but because I have their support, I am and will not let anyone down! I will keep trying until I do pass.